10.04.2007

im gonna take about tesstotoro


what u see in this picture?

a. green grass
b.grey mountain
c.white rays
d.blue sky


its not a test dude...just to ask

for me...i kinda got focussed to the white rays...
apart from the greens...

it kinda changes throughout years
when i was in secondary...i see the greens
u know...kinda like the urge to breakaway from the past..
to run freely on the ground
be different (yet failed)

after graduate from high school
it turns to the light rays
u know..hope...for a better future, kinda like breakthrough the past...
looking towards the future...

but then...when i was in foundation
it doesnt turn out well because by then...
i realised that im not as good as i thought
i cant draw...i cant speak...i cant get As...there are a lot of 'I Cant's
here comes the grey mountains

things started to happen
classroom politics...my worst subject
i dont really get along with the norm here
it goes differently...majority wins..

then...someone exposed everything...
i realised even more~
i wasnt as good as they say...
i knew why ppl stop talking to me
its kinda like...got struck by lightning in your head...
comes in a sudden

how am i suppose to get over it additional with assignments?
so...i have been silenced for quite a while...
having lunch alone
having a part time job
sitting alone among the whole group
talked to none...

kinda get used to it when the 2nd semester ended
during foundation
then the 3rd sem started...
wasnt doing well at the starting week
didnt really talked to sunny as well...(i was staying in the same room with her)
dont really like ppl ignore me...
but cant help
so...stay alone-ing
thats when greens appears in my mind


till the 1st sem degree when things get extreme
ppl start to leave the school
personal reason or whatever
stressed up...
thats when i see lights again
in an opposite way
disappointments...sorrow...

instead of see-ing light....hope-ing for is a more accurate term





till now...

so..what do u think about tesstotoro?

i dont really know much about totoro
simply thinks that its cute ...and cuddly

bibiba bombomba..
i wonder how nice it will be if life is that easy going...
a cat...appeared from no-where and help u in everything

thats totoro...
i want to be like totoro
see things so simple
enjoy helping people

but things goes the other way round
i want to break free
be some one big
visible to ppls surrounding besides a big fat tall gal that looks like a guy to other ppls

get what i mean?