Lost Watch

I lost my watch

technically..its my mom's

so... Im so dead now

How am I suppose to tell her?

Emotional Collide

Collision happens when 2 objects or individual crosses each other and left part of them behind. It simply reminds me of human relationships.friends. family. child. siblings. colleagues. a hero. pet. even the poor little lizard your car ran over weeks ago. Eventually, traces will be left behind physically, and emotionally. The greater the collision it is, the grander the collision will be.

good and bad collision happens, especially in arguments. People tend to think irrationally where harsh words and vicious emotions are unleashed. When anger controls your frontal lobe, and the grey matters- it means that you care. Those who deserves your attention wont trigger the switch; those who does, doesn't deserve your attention.

think it this way collisions are meant to happen, and it happens for a good reason. Harsh words, they might be emotional, it can be an effort to strengthen his/her point of view. They simply care too much, to the extend that it worries. i have got times that i would like to scold too. But, collision happens for a reason. think positively

Emotional collisionsare precious, as it will be carried to your tombstone. Since it is for eternal, shouldn't you drop the melancholy in your life? There certainly are reasons for angst, anger, maybe vengeance. What remains when blood is to vein? memories. Would you like to have to be remembered as an asshole? or an irritating bitch. It does sound harsh..but also, the closest description that is generally understood. first impression? it will last forever especially for those who collision happens once in your lifetime.

I know I have missed the 10th Sept post...its nothing fun actually.

This is the first birthday of mine, that I didnt get to celebrate with all the ones that i have, and having the most emotional collision with. Celebrating birthdays were always not on top of our family-to-do-list. Usually is the Sunday dinner. Dad works 24/7, hardly gets time with us. Birthday, doesnt really mean much until back in 3 or 4 years.

When we were in elementary, we begged for a birthday cake. Birthday celebrations were hardly pre-posessing coz i wasnt a people-person. Had a birthday party when i was..9 or 10. it sucked, of course Mom got herself busy from dawn till the party ends. from that time onwards, Birthdays, means an extra day off.

Got into college, kids growing up like pumping gasses...we started with Mom's bday. Got screwed too.. but it was fun. Getting together, dad heard the screwing part... then...Wil's...His was easy to remember, still easy now. Just because, his is special...March. The rest of ours were all clustered at the lower half of the year. So, I made a big deal as we tend to forget his birthday easily.

After Wil's, will be dad's. He would like it the conventional way. Hard boiled egg in a bowl of 'Longevity noodle'. Meg's, she requested quite alot. but this year, It was hard for her because...Its suppose to be happy. She was the closest with Wil..same elementary, high school, tuition classes, group of friends, clubs, sports...

On the contrary, I thought it will be easy for me. But, when I was in the particular night...I remembered how he begged mom to buy me a cake... Mom doesnt like it..but he thought that it will be nice for us to blow a cake together...with all the singing, though dad will still reach home late. It was always us, blowing the cake together ever since we started celebrating birthdays. Just a small one...lit up candles...sing to ourselves and make a wish

Sis insisted to buy me a cake this year...It was a raining thursday, just the two of us..Mom forgot coz she was busy with her work thing...Dad didnt realise [prob because i did not want to make a fuss over it] It tends to get harder when I decide to spend it quietly. With Meg over here...watching movies on the TV, chewing off chicken wings n drumsticks... It turns out less burdening...I didnt want to buy a cake this year...coz it will take me prob 1 whole year to finish it. Yet, Meg insisted and she bought me a slice. Its still in the fridge. Meg did excellent in this because Im pretty sure that Its more difficult for her...Its me, my problem.

Emotional collision are extensively hard to deal with, especially a collision that lasted for 17 years. More will come in the future. I still need some time to deal with it. Teary eyes are must-haves all the time. Sometimes...I even feel guilty for the happinesses Im getting. The collision should have lasted forever.

Mom's friend once visited...and I was fooling around with Meg on the couch. There she goes: 'How nice that both of you are so close together? My kids fight.' Im not sure what it feels like but I do hate that feeling. Awkward thoughts have always come up..How nice was it When I were not this close with Meg? Because when he is still here, he will be the middle person, literally and metaphorically. When people asks, do you have any siblings? I dont even feel like answering... Its a reflex to answer it for all these time.

Its time to change.

Time collision with you is a part of my life, my birthday, my dinner, my movie sessions, my not-people-pleaser-moments, my elderly-moments. Im sure it will continue, some day in the future.

I worry I won't see your face

Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills my mind

I somehow find

You and I Collide

Happy Birthday to me

a merdeka that i hate to spend

merdeka eve doesnt really mean a lot to me. neither does merdeka.

i wasn't born in the past...but was taught the past-tensed way. so, when friends invites to merdeka celebration, it appears to be another reason of hanging out [a meal, movie date, or even clubs]; which apparently, i do not quite entertain that much.

i've got a date this year, which i hope it has never happened.

i like the way i hang out, getting couch-potatoed in front of my favourite dvd, cd, or your watched-a-million-time movie. i like it when u buy me a drink after your basketball game. i like it when u argued with me about whats for lunch. i like it when u begged my to cook for u. i like it when we were fighting for the lagging-to-the-max old laptop. i like it when u ask me how to write a blog. i like it when u blame me for adding too much salt in your spaghetti.

apparently, i hate this date so much that i prefer to just stick at home with u watching the boring merdeka parade

love you.

I miss that town, I miss the faces

You can't erase, you can't replace it

I miss it now, I can't believe it

So hard to stay, too hard to leave it

If I could relive those days

I know the one thing that would never change

love you

the days, and nights reminds me of you. especially when i reach home, and no one opens the door for me anymore. and the dangling keychain doggy that i bought for you. keep it properly okay? im sure you'll find your way home.

i hardly spent time with you, time flies. remember the chocolate fondue that i promised? and the sushi date? yeah..movies too! i bought the last conan...

remember how i proudly tell everybody about you? handsome, athletic, built and my future boy's role model. why would you? u should have warned me. u should have hinted just a little. a little bit more.

wishing you were somehow here again.

love you

Featured!!!!

remember this? MSID 13 [Student Saturday] *here* & *here*

it was back in June 2008...and UCSI students were spotted in Kosmo!

yeah..our dear Kahsing.. cun-lah!! paged ur face woh!!

that was an interview by Kosmo! regarding the Hilton Train Project

anyway...

i didnt realised that MSID 3belas were featured in Architecture Malaysia 2008 issue until yesterday. [o.Olll] Thanks to Daphne who was reading the Nautical House project... and I cleverly flipped the page to the back of the book... and there I am!!! [she didnt realise that it was me either.. :P] with the Trash to Treasure crew of course

but pink_apple and my face...whooosh XD

there I am!!

me!! with pink_apple!!!

again..it was fun...and its still fun recalling... I'll miss college soooo much!!!

speaking of which...when is the 4belas??

It Does Surprises me

I know Chris Daughtry from my idiotic sister...She is a huge fan of American Idol [in case is you dont know what's that, its a reality singing competition show] Everything started when the song - HOME was released after Chris Daughtry didnt win the American Idol. He was in Top 5 or Top 3, dont rmb which season though...

Anyway...saw his CDs, Posters, Music Videos, Concerts and etc...he was rather rock-star-type of person to me. Like..Nickelback? yeah..Chad Kroeger is hot too! Not much guys can carry a nice head of long hairs. Daughtry is more muscular though. Like...really macho type of rock-star...totally opposite from Green Day? :P After a while, Feels Like Tonight has been on the radio for quite some time. Nice, but feels rather heavy after some time [a very long time] XP

Until, No Surprises comes out! Now i get why my sis have been crazy-ing over him.

Watch this first before you read the below parts...

Compare to the previous music videos, Chris Daughtry has become more and more 'delicious' as described by my sis..ahahha Im so totally agree with it~! as in, as delicious as Brad Pitt? *melts* I have never felt so strongly for any music videos by anyone...No Surprises, indeed surprised me of what Chris Daughtry can do.

Keep his name in view, and add into your Hottest RockStar Watchlist~!!

p.s The lyrics is fantastic too!! If other guys sings this...they will bcome a total jerk...

for leaving the other half + blame the relationship...extremely reasonable Exemption for Chris Daughtry..hahahahahah XD

I've practiced this for hours,gone round and round

And now I think that I've got it all down

And as I say it louder I love how it sounds

Cause I'm not taking the easy way out

Not wrapping this in ribbons

Shouldn't have to give a reason why...

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow

I can't believe that I stayed till today

Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow

But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

It came out like a river once I let it out

When I thought that I wouldn't know how

Held onto it forever just pushing it down

Felt so good to let go of it now

Not wrapping this in ribbons

Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow

I can't believe that I stayed till today

There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow

There's nothing here in this soul left to say

Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow

God know we tried to find an easier way

Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow

But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go

The warm embrace that no one knows

The loving look that's left your eyes

That's why this comes as no,as no surprise

If I could see the future and how this plays out

I bet it's better than where we are now

But after going through this,

it's easier to see the reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow

I can't believe that I stayed till today

Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow

But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise