Chopsticks

Random or not? I'd say it's a little bit of both. I have this weird obsession with chopsticks. When I makan, it feels awkward to eat with fork & spoon. I even eat spaghetti with chopsticks. [psst.. only at home] Well, as you know [or don't], chopsticks comes in a pair. Often used as a metaphor for co-operation and group work etc. I think there's a saying, but can't remember.

So, this occur to me when I was chatting with The Boss. Don't take it literally, it's just a nickname. We always have this hang out sessions.. just to chill out somewhere, play some pool game, UNO cards and gossips. It used to be 4, back in highschool. We were like.. chopsticks together. Well, 2 pairs of them. Tuition classes, shopping, bowling, chilling out. It has always been 4 of us together.

When grad, Ms. Boss departed; Ms. Skinny stayed; Ms Shorty lost contact. Dozens of reasons, chilling out have been a seasonal thing. And Ms. Shorty... was dating this guy since highschool. Thats another part of the story i blogged quite some time ago. *here*

Back to the chopstick story... To me, friends are like chopsticks. They are here for one reason - to be there for each other when there's anything. By anything, includes merry, melancholy, messed-ups, and make-ups. [it rhymes, I know] LOL

Back in highschool, girls like to read this japanese fashion magazine, despite the fact that, they couldn't understand even a syllable of it... Which I kinda despise for being unreasonably irrational. I wasn't very much into it, Ms. Boss and Ms Shorty paired up with this bimbo in my class; Ms Skinny was in account. That was the time that all this drama started. I guess people just don't work the way you think they will. I admit, I'm overly possessive and sometimes, manipulative. And when I feel that, the channel doesn't connect... I'll just ditch it.

Furthermore, I have had issues with Ms. Shorty since... Primary? [fyi, we studied in the same primary school but in different class] and, it has deep rooted in highschool year 1. It's a seating problem. I reported to school late because of some address thingy. So, when I enter the classroom, which is with Ms. Shorty. I sat beside her. The next day, she moved to a table across.

I know this sounds like a 4 years old issue.. but I'll probably carry it to my grave. What you treat is what you get. Well.. It wasn't an instant thing, yet accumulated. 'Lama-lama jadi bukit' I know. Call me a calculative bitch.

It has been a constant. When I'm not needed.. I'm invisible; When I'm needed, I'm a friend. Back at that time, I wasn't close with Ms Boss [she was in a different class] , and had a few chit-chatting with Ms. Skinny [same class with me, but different year]. Eventually, I was by myself besides Ms. Pineapple who sat next to me [she came here later the month after me]. Guys.. they sucked to the max that time. Stories later. Its officially the most embarrassing thing that has happened in my entire life.

Soon as Year 1 ended, we were re-assigned to different classes according to our grades. Ironically, Ms. Shorty was assigned to the same class with me. Same thing with Ms. Boss, and Ms. Skinny. Ms. Boss came to me first, say that she wants to sit beside me; just 5 minutes before Ms. Skinny... Last comes Ms. Shorty. I have always been wondering why I said yes back then. After that, we have been BFFs ever since.

I was the reason this whole BFF thing is happening... and Ms. Shorty kinda take it for granted. We have had issues... big and sort-of we-go-seperate-way issues. I have noticed, felt horrible about it... we resolved it some how. Yet, the 'bukit' turned Everest.

I have a major crack head issue with people who I consider friend, take it for granted. After 4 years... she finally called us for a chill out session - because she broke up with that guy that she has been dating since highschool.. and why they broke up? Because the guy cheated on her, after she called for a relationship break.

Call me a bitch... but I think that is non of my business because I wasn't part of the story. Fyi, I didn't know that she was dating that guy, until some random ass from junior batch came and ask me whether they are dating or not. That is how you treat your BFF. Probably I was the only one who were that naive to think that I am her BFF, or was? Anyway, it doesn't really matter now.

And Ms Skinny... she's turning into Ms Shorty in the early stage. Busy all the time and everything the universe rotates around the boyfriend. Valentines, White Christmas, Red Christmas, Anniversary, Weekend hangout, Movie session, Dinner, Meet the parents, Travel to hometown, Buy him breakfast, Birthdays. Out of 365days, couldn't there be a chill out session for the so-called BFFs?

Call me ego and self-centered, but I rather spend my time for something else.. than wasting it on a relationship that I know it will repeatedly fail again.

Okay.. I was lost

Not lost in love, or lost in transition. Nothing to do with anything.. okay?

It has been... 3 or 4 months? You do the math.. hate maths. Since i last posted. New year? or was it Christmas? Anyway... I was lazy, just don't feel like posting anything. Once in a while, random stuffs pops up and had this awkward rush to post something up here. By the time i signed in.. either I forgot what I wanted to post.. or I fell asleep waiting. Yeah... have been using this not-so-brilliant internet service provider for quite some time.

So.. I'll be posting on Why I'm not posting anything recently:-

1. Random stuffs

Sometimes I'm inspired by small little things. Things I ate, things I saw, things I touched, things I sensed among people's relationship [fyi, I'm bad with relationships], things I heard from people [mostly ms. pudu & ms. hartamas] Its more like a chick flick, than a blockbuster. I will notice it.. but probably will forget afterwards. So, either I have this flick thingy on-the-spot, or it will be just a gust of wind.

2. Pictures

I have always liked to see photos, take photos, read photos. Cant actually read it but.. analyse it sounds even nerdy-ier. LOL. Anyway.. after the FRIM incident which I cleverly slipped my DSC-W90 into the stream of cold flowing water.. Photoshop is so needed if I'm ever going to post anything. Either I rather spend my time editing watching another episode of Bones, or again... it will be another gust of wind.

3. Sensitive issues

These are not really random stuffs. Sometimes are things that I got frustrated about.. things I hate about.. .things I would like to comment about [genuinely referred as gossips] are mostly untouchable issues. Who's flirting with who, who had a crush on who... I feel okay if people are commenting about my stuffs.. gossips I call it. either my hair sucks... or my body stinks or my clothing is ugly. I take compliments & despises. [whether i'll be depressed or not its my problem] However, things that I can take.. is not necessary that its okay for other people. So, either I anonymously post it, or don't post it at all... By the way.. I feel that anonymous post are meaningless. an object is just an object if it is not addressed. Another gust of wind

4. Temperamental posts

I'm not bad-tempered, I'm not hyper, I'm not emo, I'm not out-going, I'm not socio-able [most of the time], I'm not introvert [I think], I'm not dreamy, I'm not rational. Everything seems to be out of the way it should be when it comes to me. Please, I'm not stressing that im special.. By the way, I'm not. But, sometimes, little emotional changes that inspires a blogpost, will soon be over. It inspires, but it stops somewhere... mostly before I reach internet access and sign-in for a blogpost. That is probably why I have been posting about movies that I have watched and felt strongly about.

5. Passion

I'm studying ID, which basically means that my life is occupied by it most of the time. I have always hoped that I will be the best of my kind - even though it is depressing to say that I'm not. Passion grows in time. At first, its just a flick in my head before I decided to be involved with the building design industry.Passion is not included in my resume. Yet, it grows in time. This is the state of time where, I'm quite uncertain of my life.

So, next time when I'm posting, or not. It has to relate back. Itsy bitsy part of my life which I'm willingly to share. Nowadays, you'll get sued for expressing in your own blog. I guess, that is the greatest obstacle for bloggers. Whereas, my life isn't that fantastic as I thought it is [the blogroll counter tells...] So, blogpost is going to be vastly reduced.

Fyi, I'm reading the asm brief now. Guess what.. I might be cancelling my account after reading it. Cheer up people! It will be another day tomorrow. Suddenly feels like James Bond. The difference is, I'm going to die and I dont have a Walter PPK.

p.s : This post isn't even entitled for a CNY post. So, happy day onwards. ^^