21st post

not literally the 21st post

frankly, i dont really like the fact that im already 21.

and, somehow i realised that i'm bad with comments.

and bad with people skills too.

sorry if i have offended anyone of you in any manner

under any circumstances

whenever i feel offended or something - i just want to runaway and hide.

and whenever i have offended anyone

i've asked quite a bunch of opinions from friends - dudes and babes.

go get a life.

i dream big - and now im stuck in reality to make my dream come true.

with all these problems and stuff, i was told that im jealous of my sister.

its true in the sense that, i wasn't given the talent to go wild

go wreckless and irresponsible.

the sad thing is, i find it kinda offensive.

my life, who are you to define MY life?

so... being caring is annoying?

being overprotective is shameful?

being worried is embarrassing?

what do i get in return?

bad name and a joke.

and tied by the kiasu spirit - i've being judgemental for my entire life.

now i know why people say breaking free is not easy.

i dont want to end up like normal people - i have bigger dreams.

and i do mean BIG dreams.

when i look into my future plans and dreams; it seems so far.

yet, im already 21 - soon, i'll turn 30, 40, 50.

its not really that far you know? i began to worry.

and right now? i don't even have the courage to make the decision

to take the step to tell my dad i want to buy a new phone.

nope.. its not about the phone.

its about all other future decisions i would have to make.

im too timid to make mistakes - which is really undesirable.

for the birthday wishes - i have realised that i've been making wishes not for myself.

for mom dad grandma sis bro and everybody else.

and i realised this not so long ago after i blew the candle off @ TGIF Gardens.

please give me the courage to be cruel and selfish.

so that i will worry less and get my life

as you are not worthy of my birthday wish.

thank you, for giving me all these wishes.

and i've spent it not-so-wisely for the past 21 years.

love you all.

from tess to

dad mom grandma aunt sis bro

alice sara chenguan levon

michelle jasmyn janet victor fanson joe ezu

Past / Present Tense?

Last week, went out with Alice, HuiYing, FishBall and HuiShien...High School group of people...
Friends who i have hung out with the most during the school days (except for the fish, he is Alice's primary+secondary+current friend)

Again, we have decided to meet up in Station One Menjalara. They serve ordinary 'steaks' and fried stuffs..but we went there for a Yamcha session...love their Jasmine Tea and the ambience
perfect spot for another b*tch talk..
(dont consider that stupid Fish a guy...coz a normal guy wont ransack* your handbags everytime they got into your car)

thx Taf* for that exact word i need...



Came out to pre-celebrate tht FishBall's bday...its not that early..somewhere 30th June if I am not mistaken...
but by that time, Alice will not be free to be around KL...so...celebrate earlier
and we definitely need an update from HuiShien...coz she have been disappearing for almost 2 yrs?

She took a different route from what we does...she graduated STPM and now working as a Direct Sales Company Salesperson...apart from waiting the University invitations to the students...quite high her pay...



Back to the celebration...instead of ANOTHER Secret Recipe's Choc Indulgence...we had a Baskin Robbin's Rainbow...U r right~! a tumbler of BR ice cream <-- actually Sorbet



Cracked my head for a few days on how to make this Bday Card for tht stupid fish... <-- inspired me..
and i worked this Fish Card out...was thinking to make it into a FishBall Satay...but too big ady...so...FishBall Lollipop instead...

From Left to Right

Back : HuiShien + HuiYing

Front : Alice + Tess

I used to have something towards her...something i dont really like...
about her,
her mindset, her way of thinking...
her flirting around with her 'cute' voice...
always feel that we have different channels...
and I dont really talk craps...but since we are friends...dont really care that much

Its good to have you back...keep in touch?

PS we have already celebrated tht Fish's bday <- Past Tense...
but his bday not here yet <--Future Tense?
anyway...Happy Birthday

Designer Concept

A month ago, after our final presentations, a girl called me and asked about my works. She said that she's working in this publishing company, of this new magazine - Designer Concept, and they would like to publish my IDAM final project in their June issue.



We <- ME, Eng and Michelle actually submitted our works to Kelvin, and he send it to the girl. But i wasnt expecting anything there. You know? Cant really expect anything when your works are placed at the side along with seniors.



Anyway, when i first read the magazine today, Chris passed it to me. I was stunned for a moment there. Designer sharing the opinions with the works i sent. I was like...you asked for my works and gave OPINION there...It didn't feel nice actually...You''ll know when u read it



I am not insulting but it do feel like...I VOLUNTEERED to send my works in to get critiques without a chance to defend my design.



Feel like cursing...
Anyway, thanks for this opportunity to be in a magazine.
Though I am not very happy, but a student's opinion dont really matters that much.

P.S Wanna read, go buy 1 for rm18, or juz ask from me

feeling bad + crying

sometimes...friends forward e-mails to you
do you even bother to read it?

or just check the selection box and delete everything?

i dont really understand
e-mails were meant to send things...informative technology
to benefit human race

why do people invent all these super hacking virusses?
why do people write stupid e-mails?
why do people disguise as someone else?
why do people do purpose-less things?

that depends on individual definitions i guess

somw people might think pictures of dead people in car accident is none of their business
some people might think tht emo stuffs are boring
some people prefer to read scandalous news
some people might feel comfortable sending junks

have you ever cried over an e-mail tht you have read?

if you have, then you'll not be that annoying to write stupid e-mails anymore

if you have not, your life is simply pathetic

this is the day, shall be remembered that
we are all guilty, to our parents
and are heavily blessed
to have them being forgiving all the time

that they have forgiven our mischieve when we were teenagers
that they have forgiven our ignorance when we are away from home
that they have forgiven our absance during thanksgiving day

at least

do something before you are not able to do anything
when they are no longer there able to forgive you
parents are precious, that you cannot afford to lose at all