Its not the Eve, anymore

Christmas, usually will be spent at home. With my TV, Mom, Dad, Meg & Will; probably alone if Eng's wedding did not turn up. Lifestyle in KL, pretty much attached to various shopping malls and arcades of bars, lounge and restaurants. The first few experience is rather fun, but it gets dull after maybe 4 or 5 times.

New Year, will be of higher chance to couch potato at home as well. The traffic, the crowd, the long wait for our food. Call me self-centered but I'll go crazy if my food is stuck somewhere in the oven, burn into charcoal and the waitress claim that its the crowd. Afterall, food they serve in eventful days, normally suck to the max. Of course, 'because of the crowd'. Dad, normally have plans with his friends; same thing goes with mom. In fact, she went Pangkor with her colleagues this morning, for the coming 4 days. As for Meg, she had plan for Christmas; New Year will be stuck at home with me. And, Im stuck here working [pssst.]

For the past week, or maybe more... I've heard people talking about New Year resolution- like what are you going to do for the coming 2010. Looking at the future, is sort of, not what I normally does. I don't like things to be planned out on a cartograph pie chart or something; yet, they had to be somehow planned too. Of course, random stuffs comes out all the time and I like my life how it is now. A 3 months deal, 6 month or a year thing is more time manipulated. I prefer stuffs which works in stages - performance wise.

The one thing that I'll repeat every year is that, recall what I did for the past 365 days. College has been occupying my life since 2006 - and it is time. New people, current relationship, craps, politics, competitions, hope, and stuffs. Everyday stuffs, sentimental stuffs, crazy stuffs. Pretty much everything. Things that Im proud of, Im glad of, Im happy about, Im sad recalling, Im blushing thinking about, Im mad of, Im terrified about. 2009, I would say is heavily affected by 2008. It was a year I consider wasted. Cant get enough of the mourning, you can say whatever shit you want.. Tell me about sudden lost of love.

2008, was a year to remember.
2009, was a year mourning.
2010, will be a year to recover.

Happy 2010 everybody.

tesstotoro & vampire

If I dont blog this, I'll probably die of ... I dont know what it is. Anyway, people have cravings. Right? A mug of perfectly brewed coffee, vintage wine, fine dark chocolate, freshly plucked strawberries, sunrise, fresh air, cigarettes [famous among archi students], even a sizzling hot pot of bahkutteh. [okay. thats a little too far.]

So, a couple of months ago, I was google-ing. Basically on random stuffs that pops-up to my mind. A song I heard from the radio which I do not know its title; an actor I saw the movie but have no idea who his or her name is. Anything you name it. Soon after I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - I went googling. Old movies that Brad Pitt was acting in. Somehow, I have this soft spot for vampire-related movies. As old as Dracula, to the Underworld 3. [fyi, the older the better. Maybe its because of the classical setting.]

Call this crazy, but I once waited for HBO's showtime in the midnight [around 3am?] in my relative's house. My home, do not subscribe to HBO. So, have to lah. ^^ Such a pain in the a$$ for my dad that time. He knew I love to watch movies.

Anyway, back to this vampire thingy. As I was browsing, I read this - Interview With The Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles. Brad Pitt starred, with Tom Cruise. Call that vintage. It caught my eye because I have never seen this movie in Malaysia's HBO channel. [fyi, Its banned here] The movie is made from Anne Rice's novel series - The Vampire Chronicles. Somehow, I managed to source this movie from a friend's house, and borrowed. Not sure where she bought the DVD. It doesnt look appetising at the first glance - something went wrong with the poster. It looked more like a horror movie. But it's more to a sad, sinful vampire romance. You are absolutely right, I'm so feeling don't want to return it now. :'(

To enhance the vampire-nesses of the movie, I watched it in the midnight. ^^ Sadly, my sis went to a camp, only will be coming back on the coming Tuesday. Will watch it again for the 100th time? LOL ... Brad Pitt have this masculine face and jaw line, which somehow it softens when you see in his velvety eyes. He plays a vampire in this movie, with a human heart. See the irony? He is passionate, loving, strong but emotionally fragile at the same time.

What surprises me is Tom Cruise. Call me a bias. The face of Ethan Hunt pops up whenever I think of Tom Cruise. It sort of imprinted his image as the multi-talented super spy agent. I have always liked action packed movies, but more towards Daniel Craig's 007 and Bruce Willis' type. He just looked so.. fragile to me.

Anyway, he stars in this particular vampire movie as well. Lestat, is the character's name. He should have carried this line along his career and make it his icon, like how Johnny Depp did with Jack Sparrow. The bold, enthusiastic, defiant arictocrat vampire... I've gotta tell you, I'm really impressed.

It feels like you are watching a piece of art, how he manipulate the minor details in the emotions and gestures. Its classic! With those satin smooth blond curls, translucent sea blue eyes, alabaster skin over the slender fingers with glass like nails holding a glass of wine, how could you resist him? And, the killing French accent.

Okay.. and Surprise no.3, would be Kirsten Dunst.

Yeah, the Spiderman girl. Remember? She plays the little vampire in the movie, 'daughter' of Lestat & Louis - Claudia. She's probably the only girl spent time romantically in a movie with BOTH Cruise & Pitt at the same time. Jealous? Cry lah~ LOL

and the Ultimate Surprise!! Antonio Banderas is in the movie too!! Let the picture tell you how elegantly dangerous is he in the movie. ^^

No words can describe this.

P.S : Kill me bah!!!

[Note: All pictures sourced from Google Image Search]

Worried : dedicated to Meg

To be frank. I'm Worried

I am worried that you met someone new.

I am worried that you met someone I don't know.

I am worried that you met someone that might hurt you.

I am worried that you met someone who doesn't deserve your attention.

I am worried that you met someone that makes relationship casual and disposable.

It worries me because I dont know how to teach you.

It worries me because I dont know how he'll influence you.

It worries me because I dont know how it will affect mom n dad.

It worries me because I dont know what is your perception of a relationship.

It worries me because I dont know whether you know that Im worried.

I feel like asking you every single details of your life. Sometimes, I cant bear it when you treat us like dirt, or disposable toilet roll... We love you. We have always wanted what's best for you. But, When you turn your back on us and we felt that friends are more important than your family, it worries me even more. For me, family plays a big part of a person's life. They are who you are. When everything fails, thats the only place you can lie down in peace and sleep like a baby.

Call me a tyrant. I have always wanted what's best for you.

You are what that's left for me.

Overprotective, It's my job to keep you safe.

I wouldn't want anyone or anything to hurt you.

I will support you, on every single decisions you make, as long as I'm convinced that you will be safe.

You are too precious, too valuable, too dear to be given to a person, that I dont even know who, what, how he is.

Just promise me that you'll tell when shit happens.

Keep yourself safe from anything and everything.

I Love You and I Always Do.

Wish you all the best with your new dude.

P.S : Don't break my heart.

Farewell

Will temporary postpone the Taiwan post...coz its taking me forever to finish editing the pics =.=

Anyway... A lil' pasta for now ^^

As you know, I've been into the internship program for the past six month. This coming Monday will be my last day. Thanks to the colleagues' persistence, we had a joyful and splendid farewell in this place I visited a long time ago. I hope you guys really enjoyed it ^^ It was a dinner, awkwardly, on a Thursday and only 4 colleagues made it there. It was fun anyway, quality time spent together, and made it memorable, and immortal.

Before we made our decision to go pasta-ourselves-up, we were exchanging food informations. As in-introducing nice foods, delicious stuffs and hangout places to share among us. Its amazing how we share the same passion for foods ^^ The small talks during the lunch time, 'tea-time' and times when I wander around the office and end up in Tridilab chatting + sampat-ing around.

Anyway, Back to Bel Pasto Pizza. Guess what? They have their own blogspot page *here*

Their Establishment, quality food, excellent service and good packaging.

The ambiance [note the hot guy there, thats the owner ^^]

That night was rather quiet there... Just nice for a gathering... not too quiet, not to crowd-y, nice light, nice food, dimmed light, cozy atmosphere. Everything seems to be perfectly organised for us to gather and enjoy. Ordered our food a lil' slow, because we cant make up our mind to decide what to eat. Everything seems to be so appetizing and irresistible. Soon after we settle down, crowds of people starts to come in. Lucky we made a reservation. ^^

While waiting for our food #01 = pics

Nandai, Amy, Weiru & Me

While waiting for our food #02

Chungmeng

While waiting for our food #03

While waiting for our food #04

...and finally...

The Appetizer

The soup of the day was Pumpkin soup, but they sold out. So, we ordered their signature Mushroom soup ^^ to serve with the Garlic Toast.

Of course, the chatters continue too...we talked about everything...Not literally everything..but I enjoy the conversations coz, 6 months is not short but its not long either to know each and every details of the company. And we were talking about nice foods, friends, vacation plans... We just couldn't stop, until the pasta arrives ^^

Different versions of pasta, Different Taste, Same Enjoyment. Dont you just love them? Carbonara, Salmone, Lasagna... Ask me and I'll describe it mouth-watering-ly delicious to u ^^

And their Signature Lamb Shank served with Risotto. Not too much herbs, not too mutton-y, not too much tomatoes, not too much seasonings. The whole combination is fine tuned to its perfection. 3 of us can't really stand the mutton's smell.. but they loved it. 10 thumbs up for this ^^

Last but not least - DESSERTS!!!

Its so true that girls have a million soft spots in them for desserts, so do guys!! Instead of sharing a slice of BPP's signature Tiramisu, which costs rm8.90 per [super big] slice, we decided to have a slice EACH...

There's another one across the table ^^

A chilled slice of Tiramisu, fresh from the fridge.. Set nicely on a slight curved plate... decorated with chocolate syrup and sieved with cocoa powder on top. It's just heaven!!! Ouh...and there's a way to eat it. Cut it a spoonful, take a deep breath, hold your breath...put that spoonful in your mouth and taste it slowly. The cocoa, butter finger, cream cheese will b all over your mouth and even your breathe.. Dont worry, you wont swallow that fast coz you will be so in heaven and got lost in your wonderland.

So far, It's the best Tiramisu I've ever tasted. Added up with great companions and food passionates... Worthy to be remembered as one of the best times in my life ^^

And, here's the before and after!! This reminds me of Christmas.. another pasta date? I'm fine with pizza too!!!

Love the Farewell, Love the Companion, Love the Laughters

Love you guys... and thanks for the AWESOME farewell dinner you guys threw ^^

Depression

Will be depressed for a few days [maybe weeks]

First Impression

Met this long lost primary schoolmate *thanks to Facebook*

Guy-Next-Door type of person...Easy-going...

so..old-school-way

I asked him the old-school question

T : Wad's your first impression of me?

Y : Giant, Big, Tall.

T : [noob-faced] yea..yea.. wad else?

That is one very obvious statement

I think the whole school knows that

[fyi, I used to be the tallest girl in primary until I grad]

Y : Got that aura to keep people away... Quiet.

Feels like you are going to kill someone if you make sound.

T : o.O Like a bear hybernating? with a DND-sign?

Y : erh...I dunno how bears hybernate.

T : Anyway, I do sound scary from what you described =.=

Y : Come one~ We r kids!! We ain't scared of anything!!

T : Then... you said tht I'm quiet ; but I dont know you back then~

How would you know?

[fyi, I used to be introvert nerd-type kid; just w/o the glasses & study much lesser]

Y : Dude! Your face lah... Everyone knows you!!! Such a special name you have!

[fyi, he's referring to my chinese name. Tess isn't official until ...college? XD]

T : Whoa...Didn't know I was that famous back then...

I always thought that other kids don't like me.

Y : That one I have no idea. But your name is often heard back then... ^^

T : [extremely confused] How could it be? I didn't owe anyone money!!

Y : You'll have to admit that you've got a really cool name. Everybody know you.

Awkward that I discovered the alter ego of mine, from a not-close-at-all primary schoolmate which is not even in the same class...after...blardie 9 years I grad there...

Awkward =.=

p.s what's yours?

Anniversary

in another 5 hours...its officially 1 year

12 months

52 weeks

365 days

8760 hours

525600 minutes

31536000 seconds

There's not a bit of that

did I not miss you

We all do.

Mom's birthday is in another 2 days.

Just drop by and tell her you love her.

You know she misses you the most.

Too Many Thing

Yet too little time

Intern is finishing

the bungalow project..my presentation project

Taiwan is taking me forever to finish up with the pics

Intern Reports? precisely 180 days

lighting sculpture..i have approx 3 days before im certified dead

because im quite sure that nippon sucked

so..

God Bless Me

just a little flick here..

Lost Watch

I lost my watch

technically..its my mom's

so... Im so dead now

How am I suppose to tell her?

Emotional Collide

Collision happens when 2 objects or individual crosses each other and left part of them behind. It simply reminds me of human relationships.friends. family. child. siblings. colleagues. a hero. pet. even the poor little lizard your car ran over weeks ago. Eventually, traces will be left behind physically, and emotionally. The greater the collision it is, the grander the collision will be.

good and bad collision happens, especially in arguments. People tend to think irrationally where harsh words and vicious emotions are unleashed. When anger controls your frontal lobe, and the grey matters- it means that you care. Those who deserves your attention wont trigger the switch; those who does, doesn't deserve your attention.

think it this way collisions are meant to happen, and it happens for a good reason. Harsh words, they might be emotional, it can be an effort to strengthen his/her point of view. They simply care too much, to the extend that it worries. i have got times that i would like to scold too. But, collision happens for a reason. think positively

Emotional collisionsare precious, as it will be carried to your tombstone. Since it is for eternal, shouldn't you drop the melancholy in your life? There certainly are reasons for angst, anger, maybe vengeance. What remains when blood is to vein? memories. Would you like to have to be remembered as an asshole? or an irritating bitch. It does sound harsh..but also, the closest description that is generally understood. first impression? it will last forever especially for those who collision happens once in your lifetime.

I know I have missed the 10th Sept post...its nothing fun actually.

This is the first birthday of mine, that I didnt get to celebrate with all the ones that i have, and having the most emotional collision with. Celebrating birthdays were always not on top of our family-to-do-list. Usually is the Sunday dinner. Dad works 24/7, hardly gets time with us. Birthday, doesnt really mean much until back in 3 or 4 years.

When we were in elementary, we begged for a birthday cake. Birthday celebrations were hardly pre-posessing coz i wasnt a people-person. Had a birthday party when i was..9 or 10. it sucked, of course Mom got herself busy from dawn till the party ends. from that time onwards, Birthdays, means an extra day off.

Got into college, kids growing up like pumping gasses...we started with Mom's bday. Got screwed too.. but it was fun. Getting together, dad heard the screwing part... then...Wil's...His was easy to remember, still easy now. Just because, his is special...March. The rest of ours were all clustered at the lower half of the year. So, I made a big deal as we tend to forget his birthday easily.

After Wil's, will be dad's. He would like it the conventional way. Hard boiled egg in a bowl of 'Longevity noodle'. Meg's, she requested quite alot. but this year, It was hard for her because...Its suppose to be happy. She was the closest with Wil..same elementary, high school, tuition classes, group of friends, clubs, sports...

On the contrary, I thought it will be easy for me. But, when I was in the particular night...I remembered how he begged mom to buy me a cake... Mom doesnt like it..but he thought that it will be nice for us to blow a cake together...with all the singing, though dad will still reach home late. It was always us, blowing the cake together ever since we started celebrating birthdays. Just a small one...lit up candles...sing to ourselves and make a wish

Sis insisted to buy me a cake this year...It was a raining thursday, just the two of us..Mom forgot coz she was busy with her work thing...Dad didnt realise [prob because i did not want to make a fuss over it] It tends to get harder when I decide to spend it quietly. With Meg over here...watching movies on the TV, chewing off chicken wings n drumsticks... It turns out less burdening...I didnt want to buy a cake this year...coz it will take me prob 1 whole year to finish it. Yet, Meg insisted and she bought me a slice. Its still in the fridge. Meg did excellent in this because Im pretty sure that Its more difficult for her...Its me, my problem.

Emotional collision are extensively hard to deal with, especially a collision that lasted for 17 years. More will come in the future. I still need some time to deal with it. Teary eyes are must-haves all the time. Sometimes...I even feel guilty for the happinesses Im getting. The collision should have lasted forever.

Mom's friend once visited...and I was fooling around with Meg on the couch. There she goes: 'How nice that both of you are so close together? My kids fight.' Im not sure what it feels like but I do hate that feeling. Awkward thoughts have always come up..How nice was it When I were not this close with Meg? Because when he is still here, he will be the middle person, literally and metaphorically. When people asks, do you have any siblings? I dont even feel like answering... Its a reflex to answer it for all these time.

Its time to change.

Time collision with you is a part of my life, my birthday, my dinner, my movie sessions, my not-people-pleaser-moments, my elderly-moments. Im sure it will continue, some day in the future.

I worry I won't see your face

Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills my mind

I somehow find

You and I Collide

Happy Birthday to me

a merdeka that i hate to spend

merdeka eve doesnt really mean a lot to me. neither does merdeka.

i wasn't born in the past...but was taught the past-tensed way. so, when friends invites to merdeka celebration, it appears to be another reason of hanging out [a meal, movie date, or even clubs]; which apparently, i do not quite entertain that much.

i've got a date this year, which i hope it has never happened.

i like the way i hang out, getting couch-potatoed in front of my favourite dvd, cd, or your watched-a-million-time movie. i like it when u buy me a drink after your basketball game. i like it when u argued with me about whats for lunch. i like it when u begged my to cook for u. i like it when we were fighting for the lagging-to-the-max old laptop. i like it when u ask me how to write a blog. i like it when u blame me for adding too much salt in your spaghetti.

apparently, i hate this date so much that i prefer to just stick at home with u watching the boring merdeka parade

love you.

I miss that town, I miss the faces

You can't erase, you can't replace it

I miss it now, I can't believe it

So hard to stay, too hard to leave it

If I could relive those days

I know the one thing that would never change

love you

the days, and nights reminds me of you. especially when i reach home, and no one opens the door for me anymore. and the dangling keychain doggy that i bought for you. keep it properly okay? im sure you'll find your way home.

i hardly spent time with you, time flies. remember the chocolate fondue that i promised? and the sushi date? yeah..movies too! i bought the last conan...

remember how i proudly tell everybody about you? handsome, athletic, built and my future boy's role model. why would you? u should have warned me. u should have hinted just a little. a little bit more.

wishing you were somehow here again.

love you

Featured!!!!

remember this? MSID 13 [Student Saturday] *here* & *here*

it was back in June 2008...and UCSI students were spotted in Kosmo!

yeah..our dear Kahsing.. cun-lah!! paged ur face woh!!

that was an interview by Kosmo! regarding the Hilton Train Project

anyway...

i didnt realised that MSID 3belas were featured in Architecture Malaysia 2008 issue until yesterday. [o.Olll] Thanks to Daphne who was reading the Nautical House project... and I cleverly flipped the page to the back of the book... and there I am!!! [she didnt realise that it was me either.. :P] with the Trash to Treasure crew of course

but pink_apple and my face...whooosh XD

there I am!!

me!! with pink_apple!!!

again..it was fun...and its still fun recalling... I'll miss college soooo much!!!

speaking of which...when is the 4belas??